Which Granny Are You?

Five questions. One unhinged grandmother. Answer honestly — the council always finds out.

Question 1 of 5: Someone cuts you off in the parking lot. Your first move:

  • Lay on the horn and follow them into the store.
  • Roll the window down, smile, and ruin their whole day in one sentence.
  • Write down the plate number for the file you're already building on them.
  • Blow them a kiss. Confusion is a weapon too.
  • Pour a glass of wine when you get home and forget they exist.

Question 2 of 5: Family dinner just went off the rails. You:

  • Started it, on purpose, about an hour ago.
  • Are the reason there's a seating chart now.
  • Brought the good wine and aren't sharing until somebody apologizes.
  • Already called it — there's a binder that predicted this exact fight.
  • Are saying 'bless your heart' in a tone that ends careers.

Question 3 of 5: Your idea of a perfect Friday night:

  • Something that ends in a police report and a great story.
  • Something with a dress code and someone else's credit card.
  • Cooking for twelve people who didn't ask, then judging what they bring instead.
  • Reading conspiracy forums with a highlighter and a strong drink.
  • Something that requires a change of outfit halfway through the night.

Question 4 of 5: A stranger asks for your best piece of advice. You say:

  • Bite first, apologize never.
  • Never let them see the invoice.
  • Everybody's lying, and I have proof.
  • Honey, the secret ingredient is spite.
  • It's never too late for a fourth husband.

Question 5 of 5: How do people describe you behind your back?

  • Unhinged. Lovingly.
  • Terrifyingly put together.
  • The reason the group chat has rules now.
  • Sweet until she isn't.
  • Still the most fun in the room.

Take the quiz to get matched, or just meet the council directly.